No, this isn’t a post about the popular music competition on television. This is a post about the voice in my head. You might have a similar voice inside your head, too. You know the one. It’s a voice full of fear, insecurity, doubts, and temptation. It goes something like this:
Me: That’s it. I’m so sad about what’s going on with meat, dairy, and egg production. I’m going vegan.
The Voice: Don’t do it! Everyone is going to think you’re a freak! You’ll be an outcast!
Me: I think I’ll go for a run.
The Voice: Why? Let’s drink beer and eat chips instead. That would be way more fun.
Me: I think I’m going to train for a marathon.
The Voice: ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY???? YOU’LL DIE!!!!
It’s The Voice that plants doubts in my mind when I’m running in a race and I see so many other runners running ahead of me, while I slowly trudge ahead at the back of the pack. You suck at this. You could be at home right now reading a good book or sitting on the couch doing a Netflix binge.
It’s The Voice that tells me not to make a nuisance of myself at restaurants by asking the server questions about things on the menu so that I can find something vegan (or at the very least, vegetarian) to eat. You’re being a pain in the ass and the server is going to hate you and spit in your food. Everyone is staring at you.
It’s The Voice that tells me I don’t deserve the promotion I’m getting because I’m not good enough or smart enough.
It’s The Voice that tells me:
Have one more glass of wine.
Eat the french fries.
Chips and cupcakes taste a lot better than those fruits and veggies you’re about to shove in your face.
I hate The Voice. I want it to just shut up already! And sometimes it does. When I’m setting a new PR, when I’ve made a vegan dish that’s heavenly delicious, when I go to a restaurant that has vegan options on the menu and the servers don’t bat an eye when I order these things, when I’m doing great things at my job, when I step on the scale and see that all of the running and healthy eating is paying off – then The Voice is silent. But just when I think I have things under control……
I need some cupcakes – PRONTO! And a couple of pints of beer to wash them down with! One of the dozens of shows you’ve been meaning to watch is on Netflix! C’mon, what are you waiting for?!? You deserve this!
That’s when I put on my running shoes and head out the door.