“How are you?”
It’s a question that we hear a lot these days. So many people care about us; words can’t express how much my family appreciates the friends, family, community members, and co-workers who have reached out to us. We are truly blessed.
Two days before Kayla’s second surgery, I want to tell you how our family is doing.
David – He’s being as strong as he can, and considering that his mom passed away at age 56 from cancer, I think he’s being Superman in my book. But this is hard for him. He loves his family more than anything in the world and seeing his youngest child with an illness hurts him to the core. He’s trying to stay positive, but I know that he’s worried and scared. When we hear of yet another generous act by someone that we know (or don’t know, in some cases) it never fails to choke him up a bit. He’s just so overwhelmed with the kindness and generosity bestowed on our family.
Haley – She is the best big sister Kayla could have. She told us yesterday that if she could, she’d trade places with Kayla so that Kayla wouldn’t have to be in any kind of pain. But Haley has her own struggles right now with her anxiety. Worrying about her sister has only increased her anxiety, just when she seemed to be getting things under control. She confessed that sometimes she wishes that more people would ask how she’s doing instead of always asking about Kayla. She feels really guilty for feeling that way, but she shouldn’t.
Kayla – She’s still tired a lot, and her belly button incision from the first surgery has been slow to heal and is sore, but otherwise, physically, she is doing okay. Yesterday she was quiet, and I was worried that she wasn’t feeling well, but she said that she is starting to get nervous about Wednesday’s surgery. She has tried to keep herself busy hanging out with friends. We have family trickling in and that keeps her distracted, too. She just wants this all to be over with.
Me – Up until last night, I was doing a really great job of staying positive, not worrying about stuff that hasn’t happened yet, and just living in the moment. But….it’s getting harder. My baby has to have surgery again in two days. She will have to spend more days in a hospital, in pain. In another 7-10 days, we will know what we’re facing. In some ways, I want to find out. I need to know now. In other ways, I don’t want to know. I feel tired and I have a hard time focusing for a full day at work. But for my family’s sake, I have to hold it together. And I am. And I will continue to do so.
This is how we are at the moment. Thanks to those who ask or who want to ask, but are afraid of bothering us (which you wouldn’t be.)