Hello! I hope everyone out there had a nice Thanksgiving, although it probably wasn’t the usual celebration for most of us. We had a celebration the weekend before with just our two daughters and sons-in-law. On Thanksgiving day, the kids had a celebration with the in-laws, so it was just David and me and we spent a quiet day together. Since we’d already had a Thanksgiving meal the week before, it was a good day for a big breakfast and then soup for dinner.
In my last post, I talked about how I was going to get my act together and start eating more healthy and that I was going to meditate and neither of those things happened last week. I’m trying not to beat myself up about it, but my body feels kind of crappy and I’m tired and a bit crabby and then I finally realized what was going on.
Yes, there is a pandemic and like everyone else, the stress and anxiety are wearing on me. So there’s that. Also, I’m pretty sure that I’m in menopause now because I’ve been suffering from night sweats and terrible sleep. I have hot flashes periodically throughout the day. My body just seems to hate me right now and I can feel it changing. So yeah, there’s that, too.
And then to top it all off, winter has set in and every year I struggle with seasonal affective disorder. Last year wasn’t that bad, as I was finally in the habit of working out each morning before I started my day and that really seemed to help. In addition, I used a light box at work, where I sit in a cubicle with poor lighting and no windows. The light box seemed to help as well. This year, things are a bit different. I’m still working out each morning, but I’m working from home three days a week and my desk sits right next to the French doors looking out at the backyard, so I’m getting plenty of sunlight. I love that. It makes the days that I have to go into work kinda suck, though. I’m also taking our dog, Kali, for daily walks, which forces me to go outside and get fresh air, even if it’s cold and I HATE being outside when it’s cold.
Pandemic + menopause + SAD = triple whammy, wouldn’t you say? No wonder I’m on the struggle bus, I’m not feeling like myself, and I just feel like drinking wine, eating junk, and watching TV all day.
I don’t want to let this kick me in the ass, though. Life is too short and so I’m putting on my big girl pants and I’ve come up with a game plan to help me get through these next few months:
- Keep working out, but take rest days when I need them. My body feels tired, and I think part of the reason is that I’ve been working out non-stop this entire year, trying new programs, keeping my team motivated, and while it’s been a blast, my body is saying, “More rest days please. For the love of god. Please just rest.”
- Get back into the habit of meditating. I love meditating. I don’t understand why I stopped doing it. I think it’s the same stupid logic we use when we stop taking medication because we feel better, but we can’t seem to understand that the reason we feel better is because of the medicine and that as soon as you stop taking it, you’re not going to feel better anymore. Duh. Meditating is the same thing. I felt better when I did it and so then I stopped doing it because I didn’t think I needed it. GAH! Tammy, you need it!!
- As frustrating as the walks with Kali are (she’s an 87-pound, very energetic black lab mix), they are good for both of us. It’s an exercise break, I get fresh air and (sometimes) sunshine, even if it’s fricking 20 degrees outside.
- Cut back on alcohol. Again. I’m absolutely fine if I have a couple of glasses of wine on the weekends, but the habit has become almost daily, and sometimes the couple of glasses turn into more than that, and with the alcohol comes snacking and poor food choices. I’ve been able to mostly maintain my weight because I still exercise regularly, but I feel bloated, tired, and I feel like I could be progressing so much more with my workouts and what it boils down to is crappy eating and drinking too much.
Look, I’m not perfect. No one is. Everyone has struggles and periods of time when things aren’t going so well. Like I said, I’m dealing with a triple whammy right now and it’s not going to be easy. But I know I can get through this. I also know that I don’t have to let this kick me in the ass. I can do the hard things.
But I’m also human and sometimes I’m going to struggle and that’s when I need to sit back, take a rest, reassess, and then roll up my sleeves and get back to work.
May your glass always be full,